Allies
by musician95
Summary: One night in the arena can change everything. It can even change people like Haymitch Abernathy - from ally to lover.
1. Author's Note

In this story, Haymitch Abernathy is an only child and has neither friends nor a girlfriend.

I've always seen him more as an outsider, actually resembling Katniss in this regard, and I still believe in the chemistry between him and Maysilee.

Nevertheless, I've considered long about uploading this story.

I'm doing it now because I'm _really _curious about your opinion... So please tell me what you think!

I'm grateful for every review, whether positive or negative.

Tell me as well if you notice any mistake in my language (English is NOT my mother tongue).

But I don't want to hold you back any longer -

Have fun reading!


	2. Allies

_I am staring up at District 12's escort, at the tiny piece of paper in her hand she's just about to unfold._

_I watch her take a step closer to the microphone with excitement on her face._

_Then, she opens her mouth to call out the name that is usually mine._

_But to my surprise, the name on the paper is not Haymitch Abernathy._

_It's Maysilee Donner._

* * *

I open my eyes and listen into the night.

It's silent; maybe too silent. But I don't sense any danger.

When I sit up, there's only darkness around me.

I make sure that Maysilee is still sleeping next to me, and I'm actually surprised how peaceful she looks in her sleep.

It doesn't seem as if she's having any nightmares. Which is really strange I think, because we're in the thick of it. We're in the Hunger Games, and there aren't many other tributes left.

There'll be a final battle soon.

And we're both from 12, so at least one of us has to die.

I've been thinking about that every second since my alliance with Maysilee.

How come she doesn't think of it? Why isn't she suffering from nightmares like I am every night?

Probably because _I _have taken over _her_ nightmares now.

This is the first time I've ever dreamed about Maysilee's reaping. I don't know what the point of that is.

At reaping day, I've been pretty much focused on myself. There hasn't been any time to worry about her.

Besides, I am Haymitch Abernathy, and I don't worry about anyone.

Why should I, if no one ever worries about me? My father's a drunkard and doesn't care about anything. It has been my job to keep the family alive for years. This is probably the reason why I never had any friends, let alone a girlfriend.

I've always been struggling to handle my own life.

I just couldn't afford to bother about other people, not even at reaping day.

Everybody knows that the reaping is cruel. Especially this year where there are forty-eight of us. But pity doesn't change anything. I've learned to stay cold, to feel nothing, to forget quickly. To think of nothing and no one.

Maysilee was no exception.

I didn't even know anything about her, unless her parents own a sweet shop in town.

Therefore, I've never planned to ally with her in the arena. I noticed in our training sessions that she was quite clever, but I still saw her as a weakling. I didn't expect her to stay alive in the arena longer than a few days.

Now, I've changed my mind about her.

Maysilee saved my life with that dart blowgun. She actually _can _fight.

"What are you thinking about?" I hear her whisper suddenly.

Back to reality, then.

I look down at Maysilee and notice she's awake, observing me.

"I had a nightmare", I answer almost apathetically. "But it's nothing, just forget it."

Maysilee frowns at me. "What?" she spits out. "You had a nightmare – Does that mean you fell asleep?"

When I don't answer, she straightens up and throws an angry look at me. "Haymitch, you were supposed to keep watch! You _promised_, remember?"

"Well, I –"

"Oh, shut up!" Maysilee leaps to her feet and examines the darkness around us.

"Nobody's here", I try to assure her, but she doesn't trust me.

"How can you know that?" she hisses in my direction. "You are such a dork!"

"Why are you still in, then?" I ask her harshly. "No one's forcing you to be my ally, you know?"

Maysilee folds her arms and looks down at me furiously.

We're quiet for a moment, eavesdropping intensely, but everything's calm around us.

So Maysilee relaxes and trots back to me.

"I'm sorry", she says as she sits down beside me, staring at the dark forest floor. "It's just – We've been walking and walking all the time and what did we find yet? Nothing. I'm tired of that, Haymitch."

I sigh.

When I glance sideward at Maysilee's profile, I can see she's serious. I've known all along that she doesn't like my plan, but somehow, I've always succeeded to keep her going.

Now, she _really_ looks tired. Sad.

I place my hand on her arm carefully. "We're almost there, okay? I can feel it. We've almost reached the end of the arena. You can't give up; not now."

"But what do you expect to find?" Maysilee asks. "There'll be nothing –"

"There has to be _anything_", I insist, still touching her arm. "Anything we can use against the Careers."

Maysilee doesn't protest.

Instead, she says something completely unexpected.

"I miss home."

I bite my lower lip.

She's risking to appear weak in front of the whole country. In front of the sponsors.

But it's already too late to warn her.

I have to answer something, so I just murmur: "I know."

Maysilee squares her shoulders and looks directly into my eyes. "No, you don't", she replies. "You don't know what I mean, Haymitch. You can't understand me."

I frown at her words. "Don't you think_ I_ miss home, too?"

"You're from the Seam", Maysilee answers simply. "Your life is a lot harder than mine. And as much as I know, you don't have any siblings or friends. At least, I've never seen you in company."

"Maybe I like it better to be alone", I say. "What's wrong about that?"

Maysilee shrugs. "Well, nothing. I'm just saying that you don't have anyone you could miss back home. And you're always so cold and emotionless that I don't think you're even _capable _of feeling homesick."

_Cold and emotionless._

So that's how Maysilee and her friends from town see me.

But obviously, they know nothing about me.

I pull back my arm and want to turn away from her when Maysilee grabs my shoulder.

"Did I say anything wrong?" she asks.

"You don't have the right to judge over me like that", I tell her. "Not without knowing anything about me. It's not that easy, okay?"

"But you _are _cold and emotionless!" Maysilee says. "Even if I don't know why –"

I interrupt her by pulling a knife out of my belt and sinking it in a trunk across from me.

"Haymitch!" Maysilee exclaims, sounding shocked.

I can feel her gripping my arm and I realize that for the slightest moment, I totally lost control over myself.

_That's weak, Haymitch. You have to stay focused in every situation, no matter what happens, or you'll never make it out of this arena._

Next to me, Maysilee takes a deep breath before she looses her hold on me.

"You scared me!" she says, relieved and reprehensive at the same time. "Could you please refrain that in the future?"

I risk a short glance at her, and I can still find the scariness in her eyes. It makes me feel ashamed.

"Okay, okay", I murmur. "Won't happen again."

As Maysilee relaxes a little, I suddenly hear myself saying: "Maybe you're right, you know? I probably don't miss home as much as you. And I've learned to hide my emotions, because they only make me vulnerable. But that doesn't mean I don't have any."

"Would you tell me why you do that, then? Hide your emotions?"

I have hardly ever experienced any interest concerning my feelings, so I'm surprised Maysilee seems to be truly interested now.

And I'm even more surprised about the feeling of happiness that comes along with her question.

It feels good to have someone who cares.

"Actually, it's a simple story", I begin.

"I was an unintentional child. For my father, I've always been a burden; just one more mouth to be filled. When I was about three years old, he lost his leg in a mine accident and wasn't able to work any longer, so he started drinking. Along with his leg, he lost every interest he had in my mother and me. From that point on, we had to struggle to keep ourselves from starving. I learned to fulfill my duty automatically, without feeling anything. Life was easier that way. But my father will always remain a drunken idiot."

"That's kind of pathetic", Maysilee whispers.

"Listen; you don't need to feel sorry or anything", I reply. "I'm over it."

"You're not. Otherwise you wouldn't need to repress your feelings."

"Come on, Maysilee", I mutter. "I've learned to deal with my situation. It's okay; I'm fine."

She remains silent.

For a moment, I just listen to the sound of the wind rustling through the treetops.

Then I hear Maysilee say: "If you win the Games, you'll never have to worry about anything again. You'll have enough food for the whole district, I guess."

I turn toward her. "Honestly, that's not very likely. I'd have to find a way to stand up to the Careers –"

"Who says we can't do that?" Maysilee interrupts me. "We're actually doing not too bad. I think we could contend with them if we keep working together."

Of course, she's right.

But if we do stand up to the Careers, what happens next?

I don't want it to come to the two of us.

I don't want to fight against Maysilee.

I don't even want to think about that.

Maybe she's become more important to me than I've thought.

Suddenly, I notice myself reaching out for her hand and our cold fingers intertwine.

"I'm sorry", I say into the darkness.

"I know it isn't always easy to get along with me. I can be so moody and stubborn and selfish – Actually, it's surprising that you're still with me."

Maysilee squeezes my hand and although I'm not looking at her, I know she's smiling.

"Don't be silly, Haymitch", she replies softly. "Although you're _really _stubborn sometimes, I mostly see you as brave and trustworthy."

I shake my head in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

But Maysilee is serious.

"Honestly, I think I can be pretty exhausting as well", she adds. "I'm complaining about your plan all the time, and I'm cheeky and constantly tired and –"

"Stop it", I cut her off. "That's ridiculous; I don't know what I would do without your cleverness."

Maysilee shrugs. "I thought you'd see me as annoying."

"You're not annoying", I tell her, but then I grin and correct myself: "Well, maybe the tiniest bit –"

This comment immediately earns me a nudge.

"And you're still a dork!" Maysilee answers, laughing.

We look at each other, our hands clinging together tightly.

It's surprising how this girl has changed me, I think to myself.

I never planned to form an alliance because I thought it could be distracting to have other people with me in the arena.

And I was right; it _is _distracting.

Positively distracting.

During our conversation, I almost forgot that we're a part of the Hunger Games; that every citizen of Panem can follow us live on television.

I did not think of death, not even once.

But as I notice the spark in Maysilee's eyes, I know she remembers, too. Her face turns sad again.

_Do something, _I hear a voice in my head say. _Do something, say something; whatever it takes to comfort her._

So I touch Maysilee's shoulder with my free hand and say: "Even though it might seem ridiculous, don't think that this alliance isn't worth it. Don't even dare to think that I still don't care about anyone but myself. Because since you've been my ally, I mostly worry about you. And if I could choose now, I'd choose you to stay alive rather than me."

Maysilee doesn't hesitate.

She just leans forward and kisses my cheek like it's the most natural thing in the world; kissing your district partner in the Hunger Games.

But actually, it didn't feel like she kissed me as her district partner, as a tribute from 12.

It felt like she kissed me as _me. _Haymitch Abernathy.

That's why I'm so stunned I can't move until Maysilee releases me.

"You're amazing, Haymitch", she whispers, "but maybe I don't even want to win. You deserve victory more than I do."

I want to protest, but I don't know what to say.

In a way, Maysilee's right: I _do _deserve victory.

I've worked my whole life to keep my family afloat.

I don't know what my mother would've done without me all those years.

And then, I'm chosen to be a tribute in the Quarter Quell, with a hundred per cent enemies more than usually.

The odds have never been in my favor.

I really deserve victory, but Maysilee does as well, so I decide to say nothing.

Instead, I move my hand from Maysilee's shoulder to her back and pull her right into my arms.

We're sitting there, holding each other close.

My fingers are gently stroking Maysilee's hair.

The world around us seems to stand perfectly still while inside my head, the thoughts are spinning around:

_I don't want us to separate._

_I don't want to let her go._

_I don't want to fight, to kill anymore._

_And I don't want to be a part of the Capitol's ridiculous Hunger Games._

It's the first time I wish to be at home with all my heart.

I really wish I'd never been reaped.

I wouldn't be here then, and I wouldn't be about to fall in love with Maysilee Donner, my ally and district partner.

Stupid as it sounds, I somehow know it's true.

We both know it.

This is a catastrophe, because the Games mean sure death for at least one of us.

We knew from the beginning that our alliance would be temporary; that we'd be forced to separate at some point.

I don't want that to happen.

But I don't want it to come to the two of us, either.

Time passes by, and when I finally whisper Maysilee's name, I recognize she's fallen asleep again.

I lay her down carefully and cover her with my jacket.

When I look down at her, something important comes to my mind.

This night, these moments are meant only for Maysilee and me. Even though we both know what's happening, we won't say a thing about it. We will just hang on to each other, filling every second that's left with our togetherness.

And I won't let any of these seconds be ruined by poisonous thoughts.

As a confirmation, I clear my head and take Maysilee's hand.

The slightest bit of morning light is illuminating her face and makes me think how beautiful she is.

It would be a shame if that beauty ever got lost –

_No, _I sigh.

I watch the sun rise through the trees, forcing myself to think of nothing, to feel nothing.

I'm just grateful for this moment of peace.

The breaking dawn and Maysilee by my side; that's all I need.

And I will stay here until she wakes up, because I'm still supposed to keep watch.

"You can rely on me, this time", I whisper into the air, but my words are immediately scattered by the soft morning breeze.

* * *

_I've thought nobody could hear me._

_I've never even spoke out what I felt for Maysilee._

_But the Capitol knew._

_And when we separated and she was killed by those birds, it wasn't because of the force field. After my victory, Snow had my family killed for that._

_Maysilee died because I loved her._

_So I promised I'd never give my love to anybody again. Not that I would be able to._

_It's pretty unlikely that I will ever stop thinking of Maysilee._


End file.
